So, my boss is the president of her homeowner’s association and these people are like bickering preschoolers. There is so much pettiness and backbiting that it makes my head hurt. One of the girls, lets call her Missy, is particularly evil. She and my boss have been corresponding back and forth and I can’t see for all the overt beyotch-ness going on. She is the queen of sending off “f-ed up” emails filled with cattiness, but one of them just really bothered me. Missy is all pissed off because one of the board members is still acting like she’s the president and trying to run things and she just rubbed me the wrong way with this email that she sent to my boss, and it wasn’t just because of all the typos, either.

She (old President) isn’t supposed to be answering the HOA phone!! That is what was said at the meeting. I really don’t have time to be going back and forth; and doing this he said she said stuff. I would like to vote on having the meetings audio/video recorded. that way we won’t have this problem in the future. Who else is for the recording?

We all have to meet with the lawyer at the end of the month. I was hoping that we would be professional enough to resolve this matter before we got to him. So the next meeting will be August 13th, what time is good with everyone? And Amanda (grrr! I hate that name!) said we could have it at her house. Is that still right?

My boss didn’t know how to respond back without taking her head off, so I started dictating to her, and then I ended up just taking over the keyboard. I was already in a bad mood and I don’t like it when people try to sugar coat their evilness, so I responded back in kind:

My time is just as valuable as everyone else’s. I want an amicable resolution that benefits everyone involved. I don’t think that we need to resort to audio/video recordings. I feel that, as long as accurate notes are taken and distributed, then there is no need to have meetings recorded. The secretary is supposed to record the minutes and distribute them. If things are going too quickly for you in the meetings, please don’t hesitate to ask us to speak slowly or to ask for a moment to make sure that you have everything written down before we proceed to the next issue.

Have a good day.

After that nice, friendly, passive-aggressive bitchy email I sent, she’s apparently been sweetness and light. She better be glad I was only in a “semi-foul” mood and not a “full-on” foul mood or else she would have got it *all* sick and ya’ll would have seen me on Dateline NBC for sure.

State of the Union: Smug
Listening to: Thanks for the Memories by Fall Out Boy
Posted: 4:44 PM, Wed 26 Aug 2009

Edited: October 2nd, 2009

Work Life: Yes, I am Equal Opportunity for Evilness

So, my boss is the president of her homeowner’s association and these people are like bickering preschoolers. There is so much pettiness and backbiting that it makes my head hurt. One of the girls, lets call her Missy, is particularly evil. She and my boss have been corresponding back and forth and I can’t see for all the overt beyotch-ness going on. She is the queen of sending off “f-ed up” emails filled with cattiness, but one of them just really bothered me. Missy is all pissed off because one of the board members is still acting like she’s the president and trying to run things and she just rubbed me the wrong way with this email that she sent to my boss, and it wasn’t just because of all the typos, either.

She (old President) isn’t supposed to be answering the HOA phone!!  That is what was said at the meeting.  I really don’t have time to be going back and forth; and doing this he said she said stuff.  I would like to vote on having the meetings audio/video recorded.  that way we won’t have this problem in the future.  Who else is for the recording?

The rest of the group has done their research like you asked them to do… BUT doesn’t feel comfortable reporting until all of the issues are resolved.  You haven’t delegated this Laura (old President ) issue properly.  Did you freeze our banking account?  The message on the HOA phone line hasn’t been changed; has it? 

Please don’t insult my intelligence or the rest of the group. And don’t let this president title go to your head.  We want to respect you as president.  But that means being a good leader for the group by following the bylaws.  You were voted in and you can be voted out!

We all have to meet with the lawyer at the end of the month. I was hoping that we would be professional enough to resolve this matter before we got to him. So the next meeting will be August 13th, what time is good with everyone? And Amanda (grrr! I hate that name!) said we could have it at her house. Is that still right?
 

My boss didn’t know how to respond back without taking her head off, so I started dictating to her, and then I ended up just taking over the keyboard. I was already in a bad mood and I don’t like it when people try to sugar coat their evilness, so I responded back in kind:

My time is just as valuable as everyone else’s. I want an amicable resolution that benefits everyone involved. I don’t think that we need to resort to audio/video recordings. I feel that, as long as accurate notes are taken and distributed, then there is no need to have meetings recorded. The secretary is supposed to record the minutes and distribute them. If things are going too quickly for you in the meetings, please don’t hesitate to ask us to speak slowly or to ask for a moment to make sure that you have everything written down before we proceed to the next issue.
 
If anyone does not feel comfortable with reporting until the issue is resolved, it would be beneficial to give an update on your status up until that point. It will let everyone involved know that you are working on the issue and there won’t be any confusion regarding what has been done, what is pending, etc. The “Laura Issue” has not been delegated. Action items were assigned and the only thing being requested is an update on the action items. Laura will continue to serve the community in any capacity that she is needed as a homeowner and Board Member. I have added myself as a signer on the account. Laura is aware that I am the only person that is authorized to deposit into the account and that there is a “freeze” for accounts payable until it is authorized and approved by the Board.
 
No one is insulting your intelligence. If you took the comments in an insulting manner, then that was your interpretation of it and not my intention.I was elected into this position because the homeowners felt they could use my service. I am not being paid for this, but am working from a desire to improve our community and continue with our sense of “family.” If the members feel that I am not doing my job adequately, then it is their prerogative to vote me out. Until then, I will continue to do what I have always done, support the growth and development of our community and our association. Nothing has “gone to my head.” I am not on a power trip. I am not being a megalomaniac; I am just dealing with the issues that were dropped in my lap and trying to reach a speedy resolution.
 
The Board’s main concern was communication. I am merely trying to open the lines of communication where people can voice their concerns and not fear retaliation or personal attacks. We can review the by-laws and every person’s responsibilities at the next meeting if clarification is needed. I don’t feel that we need to take this to an attorney because we are all mature adults, well able to handle ourselves in a mature fashion and not resort to playground histrionics.  Amanda will need to let us know what time is best for her since we are meeting in her home and we can coordinate our meeting from there.
 
Have a good day. After that nice, friendly, passive-aggressive bitchy email I sent, she’s apparently been sweetness and light. She better be glad I was only in a “semi-foul” mood and not a “full-on” foul mood or else she would have got it *all* sick and ya’ll would have seen me on Dateline NBC for sure.

State of the Union: Smug
Listening to: Thanks for the Memories by Fall Out Boy

Posted: 4:44 PM, Wed 26 Aug 2009

Edited: September 17th, 2009

Work Life: Big Babies

I normally don’t make my entries private, but I have the feeling that one of my coworkers still reads my blog and, seeing as I’m about to bitch her out, I figure, better safe, never sorry. I didn’t mention it before because I’ve been distracted, but I got called into HR a few weeks ago. Seems my coworkers have a problem with me. They were too scared to approach me and tell me that there was an issue, but they were quick to scurry to HR like the rats they are. I sat there with my HR rep and my boss and I honestly thought I was in some bizarre movie.

My coworkers went to HR to complain because I make them feel inferior. I make them feel stupid because I know things that they don’t. I had to sit there and listen to a litany of complaints about how I hurt their feelings when I’m curt with them, how it bothers them that I don’t talk to them, how I cut them off when they’re rambling on about something and ask them what do they want or what do they need, how it bothers one of my coworkers that I don’t look him in the eye, how intimidating I am, how I make them feel inadequate and lacking, and how I have the answer for everything. I sat there for as long as I could and then I just started laughing (That’s what I do when things have reached the point of absurdity that it was at). I laughed until I cried. As I wiped my eyes, I laughed and said that I didn’t realize I worked with a bunch of punks.

I had to school my new boss and my HR lady on what *really* goes on when I’m at work. I told them that I’m curt because I have 50,000 things to do and they are constantly interrupting me asking questions that I already answered the day or the week before. I know everything because I write things down when people show me how to do it so that I don’t have to ask over and over again. I, unlike the two buffoons I work with, actually go look for the answer before asking for help. These fools don’t even pretend like they’re trying. They get up and they ask me or they ask my lead. They don’t ever think for themselves.

I told her I work and I go to school full time and I don’t have time to play around. I have a task list that needs to be completed that day because, if I don’t, it’s just one more thing on top of all the crap that’s coming tomorrow I told them that I don’t socialize with them because they are constantly talking shit about each other when the person in question isn’t there, so I can’t trust them as far as I can throw them. My boss actually tried to defend them until I started telling her some of the things that were said about her and her policies and then *she* got pissed off. Bear in mind, they have been *all* up her ass about how great the 25,000 changes she’s made are, and then they don’t just throw her under the bus when she’s gone, they run her over and then back up over her broken corpse again.

Is there a nice way to say you don’t like to look at your coworkers because they are not at *all* attractive? How do you tell someone that you don’t like to be around them because they smell like old man? Is there a nice way to say that someone’s laugh gets on your nerves so much that you want to spork them to death? Is there a way to say that you close your door because the chick that sits in the office next to you is bi and ugly and stares at your body constantly?If there is, let me know, because that’s what I go through everyday. I asked why is it that they couldn’t come to me if they had a problem. I asked why was this the first time I’m hearing about it. The answer: they’re afraid of me. Damn straight they’d better be afraid of me! Well, that’s not what I told the people in charge, obviously, but still. I told my boss that I’m uncommunicative and pissy because I work my ass off everyday and I have the assclown on my left watching Lifetime all day (no need to ask if he likes boys) and the assclown on my right is constantly skipping up and down the halls singing and dancing like she’s in a Broadway musical when she’s not glued to You Tube.

I asked her how it would she feel knowing her work day is like Groundhog’s Day, knowing the only thing that would change is the outfit you’re wearing, and the people around you are frittering around doing fuck-all while you’re working. I asked her what did she want me to do. I can’t make them intelligent. Am I supposed to dumb myself down to make them feel better about themselves? I told them that I can’t give people self confidence; they need to find it on their own.I don’t have time to worry about if I’m hurting someone’s feelings by not speaking to them or worrying about some imagined slight. I told them that they need to develop a tougher skin and not take things so flipping personal. They need to learn to get to the flipping point and they need to get their heads out of their collective asses and get work done ( I love how you can say whatever the hell you want in HR and it’s okay).

All I know is that, by the time I left there, my boss had a new understanding of what goes on when she’s not here (she works out of San Antonio and is only here one day a week), she realized who’s been carrying my department, and I got an apology. The HR lady got in my boss’s ass and there will be some changes going on around here.

Know what the funny part is? These assclowns honestly thought going to HR would make a difference. The only difference is that they got more work dumped on them and now I have to go in and check to make sure they’ve done it. If it’s not, they get written up.

Ain’t karma a bitch?

State of the Union: Smugly Superior
Listening to: Stronger by Kanye West

Edited: February 27th, 2009

Work Life: Really?

If you’d have told me three years ago that I’d still be working at this job, I would have slapped you and called you a big, fat liar. The trainer told me on my third day that I wouldn’t last a month. I’m the last one out of my training class still here. Part of me thinks I stay here to spite him. Part of it is to spite one of the dummy supervisors. She’s tried to get me fired like three times and I almost went ghetto-fab on her one day and beat her ass on the call center floor. I can’t stand that whore and it ruins her day whenever she sees me, so that *always* brightens up my day immensely,

My job required hardly any thought. I can do it in my sleep. I could probably do it drunk (not that I would *ever* drink at work. I mean, really. What kind of girl do you think I am????) hehehehehe. I deal with ridiculously stupid people all day long that have their heads firmly ensconced up their asses and I’m not even talking about the customers.

This job pays for my shoes. This job pays for all my XOXO purses. It pays for the mountain of clothes. It pays for the pimp pad and the Gray Ghost (my car). It pays for all the cool gadgety things that I love to buy and it pays for all my vacations. It pays my tuition and it keeps me from having to be under my father’s thumb, having to justify everything I buy and having to account down to the nickel for everything I spent his money on.

I was going to start this out as a rant, but I guess I don’t have a lot to complain about. There are so many people that don’t have jobs at all. There are so many people that would probably kill to be bored out of their skulls the way I am. So, I guess I can be grateful. I mean, it’s not like my job is demanding or mentally taxing. I have my own office. I can have a t.v. if I want, and I have wireless internet. I take calls while I’m painting my nails. I take calls while I’m reading TMZ and The Hollywood Gossip. I take calls while I’m watching General Hospital on You Tube. I take calls while I’m doing homework and studying for tests. I could have one of those crappy jobs where I would have to do manual labor or one of those crappy jobs where I’d actually have to use my intelligence.

Where would the fun be in any of that?

State of the Union: Bored!
Listening to: Some lady whining in my ear about being charged for dirty movies that her kids ordered while she was at work.

Edited: February 27th, 2009

Work Life: Here’s Your Sign

How do you know that you work with a bunch of morons? When you get sent out a company-wide email that states:

“Effective today, the microwave ovens may no longer be used for making popcorn. If you have popcorn in your desk, please consider taking it home. Notices will be placed in the kitchen that popcorn may no longer be made in this building at any time.”

And it’s signed by the Executive Assistant to the frickin’ GM and the HR rep.

This has led me to conclude that we need to have someone take a strong look at the hiring process. If you can’t trust a fool to read the POSTED signs on how long to microwave popcorn for, can you really trust them to not mess up someone’s account? Or trust them with access to social security numbers and credit card information?

I brought a microwave from home a few weeks ago that we keep in our section. I think I’m going to start popping bootleg popcorn for $50 a bag. If they’re dumb enough to burn microwave popcorn in a microwave that has a popcorn button on it, then they’re probably dumb enough to pay $50 for a bag of it.

State of the Union: Disgusted
Listening to: Boys With Girlfriends by Meiko

Edited: September 24th, 2008

Work Life: Racial Tensions?

My company has offices in nine major cities. At our corporate office, we have these ditzy Texas State interns. They’re basically useless, but we give them all the grunt things to do in the office: compile stats, send out emails with promotions, stuff welcome packets. Busy work, basically. One of the interns sent out an email with weekly stats or what not going on in the call center. The email itself wasn’t bad, it was congratulatory, but it’s the picture that she attached to it that got everyone in an uproar and no, it wasn’t a naked picture of me. That would have sent everyone fleeing to all four points on the map, screaming and clawing at their eyes. No, it was this:

One of the girls I work with got pissed and made her displeasure known. Then a bunch of other non-caucasians got ticked off as well. Another coworker tried to explain that it was a t.v. show and that it was just a joke. “I haven’t seen it and it’s not funny,” was the reply. You know me, I am Suzy Q, investigative reporter, so I went to go investigate. I went to the website attributed to the picture and then popped in the name on the door which let me know it was from the t.v. show, “The Office.” I then went on imdb.com (favored site of Birdsnest) and looked up the show. I read it, looked at the pictures of the actors, and got the joke immediately. I then went on NBC.com and watched a couple of episodes. The cartoon made sense in context if you know who the other character involved is and the messed up sense of humor that character has.

On the one hand, I can see why people were upset. Some people get that way about any type of double entendre or off-colored joke (excuse my pun). Some people are sensitive about race jokes to begin with. Some people think that, if you let it slide, people will think it’s okay and they will get bold and move on to other, bigger things. I don’t think she was being malicious or trying to throw in some overt racism. I think she was a 19 year old ditzy blond intern who was trying to jazz up an otherwise boring email and used poor judgment by posting that particular picture.

I can see both sides to this. One of my friends said that I’m not mad because I’m not “really” black. She said I’m a white girl trapped in a black girl’s body and that’s why I’m not outraged. My thing is this: If Intern Bonehead was a self professed white-sheeter, listened to David Allen Coe, and had a confederate flag anywhere on her SUV, my reaction would have been different, make no mistake about it but that wasn’t the case. I just think she was young, naive, and uneducated in business etiquette. She used poor judgment, but, seeing as this was probably her first job, she obviously wasn’t schooled in race relations enough to know that you shouldn’t send emails out companywide if there is the slightest chance that it can be misconstrued as racist or offensive to someone. Some argue that it should have been common sense. Maybe, but that’s a gene that seemed to have skipped some people.

This escalated up and she got fired. (Is it really fired if you weren’t getting paid?) Now, some people are glad that it happened. I’m a big ol’ nerd and I feel bad for her because she needed this internship to graduate. I don’t think she was right in posting the picture; I just think she was ignorant and, in this case, it wasn’t bliss. I think that a bit of diplomacy should have been used in this case and another alternative reached. This girl was obviously a doofus, but, if everyone got fired for stupid things they did and said at work, half of the people in my company would have been fired, starting with my entire department. I don’t think it’s going to start a race riot or anything or that Al Sharpton will be down here media-whoring for the cameras, but I wonder at this person’s perception of black people and how it’s going to be colored now.

State of the Union: Conflicted

Listening to: Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls

Edited: August 26th, 2008

Work Life: Yay!

I had a blast on Friday. I went out with some of my coworkers to celebrate. Why, you ask? Because I GOT THE JOB! YEAH!!!!! I am probably the only person in the history of the free world to be happy to be doing collections, but whatever. The job isn’t hard or demanding and you aren’t calling people threatening to take them to court or take their house. I have a cool boss, a cool group of people to work with and, most importantly, I’m out of a hostile work environment. I will miss some of the people in my old department and my old boss, but I won’t miss the B-S that went with it. No more crap about my school schedule, no more micromanagement. No more having to account for being off the phone for more than two minutes.

I feel like Mel Gibson in “Braveheart.” I want to do cartwheels down the hall, then start beating on my chest, screaming, “FREEDOM!!!!!!!” Can you see me? Can you see me doing that in three inch heels? That siren you just heard? That’s the ambulance coming to cart me off to the emergency room……

Edited: July 21st, 2008

Work Life: Who Woulda Thunk It?

I had my job interview today. It’s for a different department in the same company I work for now. It’s for more money, less work, and a totally cool boss. They tag teamed me, the supervisor and her lead. One asking me questions in English and the other questions in Spanish.

I was hungover (deplorable, yes, I know) and my allergies were raging. Then they made me speak in Spanish. I had to talk… out loud…in Spanish. And I think she understood what I was saying. Who woulda thunk it? No one hears me speak in Spanish unless I’m drunk. I sound like a Valley Girl according to this guy I used to date, so I just stopped speaking all foreign languages in front of anyone except my brother and father.

Wish me luck. I need a raise so I can buy this sweet digital 10.0 megapixel SLR that I’ve had my eye on. I’m off to the bar so I can watch WWIII. My friend’s girlfriend cheated on him with his cousin, but she didn’t know they were related. It promises some serious dramatics. It may even rate a Fool for Love.

Does that make me a bad person if the main reason I’m going is so I can blog about it?

Edited: July 21st, 2008