Slayerbarbie…..Manstealer

There’s this guy that I have been crushing on. He’s really cute and we have playful banter. Only problem is, he’s 23 and I’m turning 30 in 29 days. I wouldn’t hesitate if I was 23 and he was 30, but seeing as the people at work that I have told this to are growling and clawing at me, I have “Cougar Complex.” I tell him that I’m too old for him and he says that he agrees, but it’s pretty evident that he doesn’t. I know the international “let’s hook up” look. Hell, I hold the patent.

There’s also this chick that goes to the same club that we frequent. She’s 19 and she has a a gi-normous crush on him. She’s young, really naive and a virgin. She wants him to be her boyfriend. I think he likes her, too, but (no offense) he’s a man and he has needs. It would be one thing if he was a virgin and didn’t know what he was missing, but he’s not. I think he likes her, she’s a nice girl, but he doesn’t want to be tied down to anyone right now and I think he doesn’t want to date her because he will end up cheating on her at some point because he needs the action.

She and I were introduced on a Friday and, by Sunday, she’d told me the whole tale. She thinks that he likes someone else and she is just sick about it. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I’m “the other woman,” because I think it would make her feel worse than she already feels, especially since she confided in me, even though I didn’t ask to be her confidant. Now, I feel like, if I hook up with him, (it has been firmly established that, in order to be a cougar, you have to be late 30’s, early 40’s, phew!) I will be stealing her man. I asked him about her and he said that she’s just his friend and that’s all she’ll be, but I didn’t want to stomp all over her heart and tell her that. I just told her that he wants to hang out, have fun and just chill. I don’t want to be shady or anything with her, but it’s not like I want him to be my man. I just want him to be my boytoy until I find my future husband.

I want to intervene and tell her to look for a boyfriend outside of the bar because that’s just asking for trouble, but I am trying (so hard) to honor my New Year’s resolution to mind my own business and not get involved in other people’s lives unless they invite me into the fray. It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is, especially since I am an involved party. I want to give her advice, but, if I do end up hooking up with him and she finds out, she’s going to think that I said what I did to eliminate the competition. I know I probably shouldn’t care about her feelings and serve my own interests, but I am one of the minority in the population that actually cares what people think of me.

I need to develop tougher skin…..

Edited: September 12th, 2007