Boob Tube: Elizabeth Webber

I *was* in a bad mood and then I found this on You Tube, so I’m good now. This one is really for Slade. He’s the only person that will truly get how funny this is. I watch General Hospital. I’ve been watching it since I was in my mama’s womb. One of my earliest childhood memories was actually watching Luke and Laura get married. Yes, she is why I want a pink wedding dress.

Those buttheads at You Tube just took off my video, but I found another one. It’s too easy. If you don’t watch General Hospital, just imagine Kelly Taylor from 90210 (you know, back when it was actually GOOD) and how sanctimonious she always was considering that she was a lying, back- stabbing, cheating, nasty skankasaurus.

This second one is because I like seeing her get slapped silly. Sometimes, don’t you wish you could do that to people? I love how she got slapped by two Carlys.

Yes, Slade, in case you didn’t get the memo, I want Jason and Sam to get back together. Oh, and I hate Elizabeth Webber.

State of the Union: Tickled.
Listening to: Cartman singing Elizabeth Webber is a big ol bitch. (only in my head)

Edited: February 27th, 2009

Boob Tube: Elizabeth Webber

I *was* in a bad mood and then I found this on You Tube, so I’m good now. This one is really for Slade. He’s the only person that will truly get how funny this is. I watch General Hospital. I’ve been watching it since I was in my mama’s womb. One of my earliest childhood memories was actually watching Luke and Laura get married. Yes, she is why I want a pink wedding dress.

Those buttheads at You Tube just took off my video, but I found another one. It’s too easy. If you don’t watch General Hospital, just imagine Kelly Taylor from 90210 (you know, back when it was actually GOOD) and how sanctimonious she always was considering that she was a lying, back- stabbing, cheating, nasty skankasaurus.

This second one is because I like seeing her get slapped silly. Sometimes, don’t you wish you could do that to people? I love how she got slapped by two Carlys.

Yes, Slade, in case you didn’t get the memo, I want Jason and Sam to get back together. Oh, and I hate Elizabeth Webber.

State of the Union: Tickled.
Listening to: Cartman singing Elizabeth Webber is a big ol bitch. (only in my head)

Edited: February 27th, 2009

Boob Tube: The Bachelor: London Hottie

I won’t ruin in for those who haven’t watched it yet (Sorry again, Lisa, for telling what happened with Brad and DeAnna) but I have to say….can I pick ‘em or can I pick ‘em? Slayer is 12 for 12. I should become a bookie…….

**And, for the record, I know that the Bachelor is mindless fluff, but dammit, football season hasn’t started yet, so leave me alone!!!!!*****

State of the Union: Jubilant (He picked my girl!!!)
Listening to: The promos for the Bachelorette

Edited: August 26th, 2008

Boob Tube: The Real World

I know that the Real World is about as real as Pamela Anderson’s boobies, but I have to admit I’m hooked. My mum made me swear on a stack of Bibles that when I was younger that I wouldn’t ever go on the Real World. People putting their issues, their drama and sexual indiscretions on display for the world to view. I love it. As long as it’s not me, of course.

Reason # 2,487,569 why I need more female friends? I was watching as Isaac and Dunbar were discussing one of the girls in the house and her attitude. Isaac says,”The next time Ashli says, ‘Dunbar’s a freak,’ I’ll say,’ You sucked his d—.’ That’s pretty much the end of convo,” and both of them started laughing. The messed up part? I was laughing right along with them. Dunbar’s an ass and I can’t believe he told his roommates and the world that Ashli sucked his d—, and I’m probably going to get booted out of the Sisterhood, but I still like him after he said she wasn’t just a piece of ass. Nope, just two lips and a tongue, but whatever.

Serious bone to pick. Why does KellyAnne have to act like such a drunken whorebag all the time? She’s from Georgetown and she’s making all us Texas girls look like drunk tramps. Cohutta pegged her. She was (insert STRONG Georgia accent) “booting dancing, grinding, panties showing.” I am so disgusted with her right now. I sooo wouldn’t want to be her.

I wouldn’t, however, mind being called a “sensuous little cuss.”

State of the Union: Pensive
Listening to: The Real World

Edited: August 18th, 2008

Boob Tube: The Bachelor

For all of you that are avid followers of the Bachelor and haven’t watched the last episode yet, DON’T READ THIS POST UNTIL YOU HAVE. Sorry, Lisa….:(
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*Now that you have watched that bullshit……..

WTF just happened? He broke up with both of them? Are you fucking serious? Two hot, smart, funny, independent, confident women? Two women that any sane man would give his left testicle to be with? Have you lost your everlasting mind? Where are your fucking balls?

What the hell just happened here?

State of the Union: Disbelief
Listening to: Myself screaming at the t.v.

Edited: August 4th, 2008

Boob Tube: WTF?!??!

Okay, I know I was supposed to post my entry about Crush Party and my fantabulous weekend, but I’m watching the Bachelor right now and all I have to say is WTF just happened here? You’re going to pick Bettina, who’s father basically called you an ignorant, uneducated bar owner, and you picked her over Sheena, who is blond, genuinely nice, and hot as hell?

WTF is wrong with you, Brad? I’m throwing my pillow at the t.v. right now.

State of the Union: In Shock
Listening to: The announcer for the Bachelor

Edited: July 25th, 2008

Boob Tube: I Have yo Weigh In

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a HUGE Grey’s Anatomy fan. I am even one of those dorky people that buys the DVDs when they go up for sale. I have to say that my show is going to suck big time without Preston Burke. I watched this show for Christina and Burke, not Meredith and Derek. (Feel free to throw the tomatoes, I don’t care) They were totally dysfunctional, and I loved every single second of it.

I know some people are pissed because of what Isaiah Washington said. And, before any shots are fired, I have to say that Isaiah was wrong. That being said, my biggest bone of contention is that he didn’t call T.R. Knight the f-word. He wasn’t even talking to T.R. Knight. He was talking to Patrick Dempsey. Any dude that says that they never called one of their straight friends the f-word when they did or said something that was less-than-masculine is a liar. Straight out. You’re lying. I’ve done it. Every girl I know has done it. Every guy guy I know has done it at some point. I have gay friends that have done it. I’m not saying it’s right, but we’ve all done it. Isaiah was flogged by the media, did his rehab, and did his PSA. Fine.

The part that chaps my ass is that they let some interpersonal stuff affect my show. I just don’t see how something that happened off-camera should be allowed to affect what happens on-camera. Why should I, as a loyal viewer, be punished? And, before anyone says anything, I would say the same thing if T.R. Knight had dropped the n-word. I’m not standing up for Isaiah because we’re both black. Castigate him in the media all you want, make him do penance, whatever. Just don’t f-up one of the best shows on t.v.

If Grey’s tanks, I will laugh and laugh and laugh. Storyline issues aside, I find the whole thing amusing. I know Isaiah does, since he’s going to be on another hot show that I am looking forward to (Bionic Woman! Cue the music!) and he scored a development deal with NBC, who I applaud for looking at the talent of an actor and not the messed up decisions they make in their personal lives. If Hollywood used issues in real life to affect movies and t.v. shows on the air or in movie houses, every theater would be shut down and we’d all be watching “Dora the Explorer” on PBS.

This whole ordeal has pissed me off enough to make me rescind my boycott on NBC to follow him and start watching the Bionic Woman. And we all know that I hate network t.v. that is not ABC……

Edited: July 24th, 2008

Boob Tube: I Have To Weigh In

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a HUGE Grey’s Anatomy fan. I am even one of those dorky people that buys the DVDs when they go up for sale. I have to say that my show is going to suck big time without Preston Burke. I watched this show for Christina and Burke, not Meredith and Derek. (Feel free to throw the tomatoes, I don’t care) They were totally dysfunctional, and I loved every single second of it.

I know some people are pissed because of what Isaiah Washington said. And, before any shots are fired, I have to say that Isaiah was wrong. That being said, my biggest bone of contention is that he didn’t call T.R. Knight the f-word. He wasn’t even talking to T.R. Knight. He was talking to Patrick Dempsey. Any dude that says that they never called one of their straight friends the f-word when they did or said something that was less-than-masculine is a liar. Straight out. You’re lying. I’ve done it. Every girl I know has done it. Every guy guy I know has done it at some point. I have gay friends that have done it. I’m not saying it’s right, but we’ve all done it. Isaiah was flogged by the media, did his rehab, and did his PSA. Fine.

The part that chaps my ass is that they let some interpersonal stuff affect my show. I just don’t see how something that happened off-camera should be allowed to affect what happens on-camera. Why should I, as a loyal viewer, be punished? And, before anyone says anything, I would say the same thing if T.R. Knight had dropped the n-word. I’m not standing up for Isaiah because we’re both black. Castigate him in the media all you want, make him do penance, whatever. Just don’t f-up one of the best shows on t.v.

If Grey’s tanks, I will laugh and laugh and laugh. Storyline issues aside, I find the whole thing amusing. I know Isaiah does, since he’s going to be on another hot show that I am looking forward to (Bionic Woman! Cue the music!) and he scored a development deal with NBC, who I applaud for looking at the talent of an actor and not the messed up decisions they make in their personal lives. If Hollywood used issues in real life to affect movies and t.v. shows on the air or in movie houses, every theater would be shut down and we’d all be watching “Dora the Explorer” on PBS.

This whole ordeal has pissed me off enough to make me rescind my boycott on NBC to follow him and start watching the Bionic Woman. And we all know that I hate network t.v. that is not ABC……

Edited: July 24th, 2008

Boob Tube: Rage Against the T.V.

I have a serious bone to pick with ABC. They tease you tempt you, get you invested in a show, and then they f— you over and pull the rug out from under you. I’m sure that all of you have seen the season finales of every show out there. If you haven’t, then this post may not be for you.

Grey’s Anatomy ate my soul. There. I said it. I haven’t been this sick and outraged since Spike tried to rape Buffy or since Sonny left Brenda at the altar. Did I land in some alternate universe? You break up Meredith and Derek *again* AND you break up Christina and Burke? What kind of crap is that? Before anyone says anything or rolls their eyes, I *know* it’s a t.v. show; I’m not that delusional. Television sometimes mirrors real life and you can identify with the people on these shows because they deal with issues you can relate to. Christina and Meredith are dark and twisty, like a lot of us out there. They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I hate you, Shonda Rhimes (the executive producer and head writer) because you turned that light into a train and me into Wile E. Coyote. Augh!

WTF happened to Edie on Desperate Housewives? They had better not pull a Peyton’s Place and she better live. Every neighborhood needs a resident slut. Not surprised about “Bree’s” baby or that Gabby’s new husband is a butthole, but I was happy to see that Susan and Mike got married.

On a happier note, my record for picking the correct Bachelorette is still intact. I may not like the girl he picks, but I’m dead on every time. I loved Tessa and I knew that she was gonna win. And, in my defense, I, like most people that watch the Bachelor, watch to see the girls have meltdowns and catfights. It’s the best part. I’m a sucker for romance but, as some of my blog posts will show, I love a good, rowdy brawl. By the by, the latest Bachelor Lieutenant Andy Baldwin is just that, a Baldwin. He is smoking hot. He’s like a Ken doll in a Navy Uniform. Google him. You’ll see why I’m overheating.

Last, but certainly not least, is Lost. Lost came back with a vengeance. I muddled through the entire season because the last two episodes made it worthwhile. The season finale was awesome, Jack’s fugly beard aside. There was action, adventure, suspense, romance, it had it all. I knew that they somehow got off the island when Jack mentioned his dad. I loved how Jack beat the crap out of Ben, how Charlie went out like a trooper and how Hurley saved the day. There are only three seasons left with sixteen episodes apiece. I wanna know what the temple is. I wanna know what’s up with the statue with the freaky claw toes. I wanna know who the f— Jacob is. What will I ever do when it’s over?

Rewatch the whole thing on DVD, of course.

Edited: July 21st, 2008

Boob Tube: WTF Just Happened Here?!?!?!?

Where the hell are the ABC studios? Does anybody know? I have some ass whuppins to hand out. Did you see Grey’s Anatomy? Did you see it?!?!?!?! I wanna kick someone’s ass!!!!!!!!! I’m not going to tell you, in case you haven’t watched it yet, but ABC is gonna get it, mark my words, they’re gonna get it. …….

Edited: July 20th, 2008