Bloggedy Blogger: Myself

I keep my life compartmentalized. I don’t like for my worlds to collide. I keep my family separate from my friends. A lot of people on here are like family. We’ve never met, but you guys know more about me than my own family does. They would have an absolute SHIT FIT if they knew I was blogging about my life, let alone what I do with my free time.I’m not saying I’m a wild child by any stretch of the imagination to a *normal* person, but my dad’s family is *extremely* conservative and my “antics” would bring shame on the house of Usher. (I almost put my dad’s real last name on here until I realized he could google it, pull up this blog and then my existence would topple like a house of cards in a tornado).

My cousin tried to friend me on Facebook and I hit the ignore button. It seems kinda mean, but I have to protect my privacy. Any of you that actually read my Facebook page would die laughing because I put *everything* on there, but it’s different. No one from my family is on there. They have no idea what I do, who my friends are, who I am and I want to keep it that way. The less they have to gossip about regarding myself, the better.

I have coworkers that read my blog. I’m careful not to refer to my company by name or give away any information that’s privileged, but it’s kinda cool. I have put some of my coworkers on blast for some of the things they do. I got told it was risky, but hey, they’re the ones breaking company policy or acting like a fool, not me, so why should I worry? There’s a bit of anonymity with that because only a select few even know I blog, so, if any leaks occur, I know where to go first.

One of my friends told me that she read my blog. I did a double take because I didn’t think she knew about it. Apparently, she actually looks at the information page on Facebook and I have it listed on there. I never read that crap, except when it’s a cute boy and I want to find out if he’s married, but other than that, nothing. Her reading that prompted me to think about how much of myself I’m putting out there and who has access to it. My Facebook is set to private, my pictures can only be viewed by friends, and I only accept people that I know (either from blogging or that I have physically met in person through school, work, etc.) but it still makes me nervous about how much of me is out there.

Do you ever get concerned that you’re showing too much of your soul through your blog?

State of the Union: Pensive Listening to: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
Posted: 9:25 AM, Wed 25 Nov 2009 in Bloggedy Bloggers

Edited: November 25th, 2009

All About Me: Odds and Ends

I’m supposed to be writing my paper for my Mexican American Studies class. Seeing as it’s 65% of my grade, I should be focused, but I’m not. While I am typing this, I am also uploading pictures from my camera and listening to Amy Winehouse and her music leads to deep thought for me, but not about gender stereotypes and race relations, which is what my paper is supposed to be about. I should probably change that…..

It’s almost Holiday season. My shopping is normally almost done by now, but I haven’t even started. I am having a hard time finding any of my friends that I truly want to buy presents for. How sad is it that I would find more joy buying presents for people that I’ve never met, namely blog friends, and friends that I’ve reconnected with on Facebook, than friends that I see every day or at least twice a month? Maybe I’m being perverse, but I just don’t care too much anymore. I kinda decided I’m only buying practical presents for people that need them. I am not contributing to anyone else’s gluttony…well, unless I find out that someone I wasn’t intending to buy a present for buys me one. I’ve had that happen to me too many times and I refuse to be the one making someone else feel dumb for putting the time and effort into buying a present and then receiving that “Oh shit!” look that clearly conveys they didn’t buy you anything.

I wanted to blog about my trip to Vegas with Paul. I keep trying to wait until I’m in a better mood but “permanently bitchy” seems to be a constant state of mind, so I will probably just write it and pray he doesn’t read it because he gets his feelings hurt *entirely* too easily and some feeling hurting is going to occur if I write about that trip.

Sorry for the suck fest. I will try to be more cheerful in my next entry. As usual, there’s something else going on and, as usual, I don’t know how to constructively process it. I think that’s a life skill your parents are supposed to teach you but, seeing as I don’t think they know how to do it themselves, I might be outta gas….

State of the Union: Depressingly cheerless
Listening to: When Doves Cry by Prince
Posted: 1:49 PM, Sun 15 Nov 2009 in All About Me

Edited: November 15th, 2009

All About Me: Suckage

I am in a rut. I get up. I go to school. I go to work. I go home and do homework. I go to bed. I get up. I go to school. You know how it goes. On weekends, all I want to do is sleep. If I didn’t have friends that would beat me stupid if I didn’t go to their parties and events, I probably wouldn’t go anywhere at all. Life has no color. No texture. No scent.

I was depressed when I started dating my ex. I will freely admit it now. It was bad. Now? Now I’m in a free-fall. I cry. I eat. I eat some more. I don’t cry for him. He isn’t worth it. I cry because I’ve tasted of life and it isn’t sweet anymore.

State of the Union: Sad
Listening to: Not a thing
Posted: 5:48 PM, Thu 5 Nov 2009 in All About Me

Edited: November 10th, 2009